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Tears of Joy

Spiders

Read Between the Lines

Xanadu

Puppies

Walnuts

1200 mcg

Foreskin Turtle

One of the members of the typewriter sweatshop union finally figured out how to use the Smith Corona PWP3. It types backwards sometimes.

Tom Clancy

Pokemon Jamz

Art Nouveau and the Aesthetics of Hipster Consumerism

Peggy

For the purpose of mailing this letter, maybe the recipient can leave his address for Peggy written in...invisible ink

Ferrets

Sonoran Desert Toad

Remington #3 (V225266)

The guy who sold me this had absolutely no idea what it was. "It's a beauty," I told him. "Oh yeah, do you know something about these?" he asked. What a fool. I basically stole this from him. It's probably worth five times what I had to give him. It's essentially immaculate. Not to brag again. But I really like this thing.

Man in the corner

A correspondence one of our recent houseguests left for us.

Gretel

The Baby Had Fallen

The most memorable period of my life

Barbara

wuritoy

This actually contains a secret code. You win a prize if you figure it out.

Emanuel P. Hornitos

Worms

TWO sparkling Royal No. 10s?

I know what you're thinking. "What kind of asshole would not be satisfied with the beautiful 1924 Royal No. 10 (H-885159) on the left? What sort of jerkoff demands the additional 1933 Royal No. 10 (H-1686090) on the right?" Sure, it's fair. The first one is about as good as it gets for 1924. The other is about as good as it gets for 1933. I'd really be showing off if I were simply putting the picture of the two of them together to point out that I was blessed with both.

But you see, the older one will have a new home soon. My grandmother used it to write a number of children's books, a copy of each of which can be found in the Library of Congress. It will soon make its way to my cousin's house, as a wedding present (congratulate him, everyone!). He is a writer, and he needs the positive energy of this thing far more than I do. I hope it can help his books be as successful as hers.

But we can not produce top quality nonsense with just any typewriting machine. The Royal KMM is sturdy and reliable, but this is not exactly a one-typewriter household (and unfortunately the rest of our machines currently need more care than I can provide). Each machine produces a different style of gibberish, and we can't be without multiple mechanical influences. Enter the new No. 10. Lavish, you say? No, I got it for an absolute song. That I will brag about.

Graham

7-UP Corporation Response

Arthur's original correspondence is, of course, here

Lisa Frank and the Aesthetics of LSD-based Art

China

Valery

24-hour anything

Sometimes it's really hard to know what to know or do in a time of general malaise.

Fingercocks McGee

WHOMP WHOMP CAROOSH BOOSH BOOSH

Crayola Corporation Response

If you have somehow forgotten the origin of this correspondence, refer to Arthur's earlier letter

Google Corporation

I am, of course, posting this on my Blogger blog.

Law School

I'm pretty sure that this is what law students write about.

Alex

You know better

3M Corporation

We are going to get rich, if by no other means than by obtaining lots of free POST-ITs.

King Rasputin the Elder

Sea Foam Green: Crayola Corporation

Can't wait until they actually abolish Cornflower.

Bear Suits

I can't believe those skanks.

So *that's* what is going on over in Bosnia

I was kind of wondering what those Bosnians were up to these days.

Cetacean Espionage

I am not a man

Lisa Frank Corporation

That polar bear is just not acceptable. I hope they send me some stickers.

Supplies

Prehistorotica, brought to you by Pancho Villa

Apologies for the scan quality. I was running out of ink and this is the best contrast I could arrange.

Cat paint

Write back soon, OK? This meth ain't doing itself.

We're back in business!

The Treat Typewriter Sweatshop Union Local 1192 has a new scanner and a new Royal KMM, so you are in luck. We're back and making less sense than ever.