Urgent typewriter correspondence

Technical difficulties

2012-01-31T19:11:00.000-08:00

I'm glad typewriters don't have hard drives, because those things sure do like to break. While a new one is on its way to me, you will have to do without nonsense and fan fiction, though I assure you there is a nice stack of both waiting to be scanned.

Gangrenous Efforts

2012-01-12T14:50:00.000-08:00

To be fair, we have jellied an awful lot of office equipment around here recently.

Appropriate Technology

2012-01-10T14:48:00.000-08:00

Tim Lincecum-Buster Posey Gay Fan Fiction Chapter 36

2012-01-08T14:46:00.000-08:00

Pretty Hate Machine

2012-01-06T14:45:00.001-08:00

It sounds kind of trancey when you play it at 45 RPM on that plastic record player.

Ovoid Symmetry

2011-12-17T21:59:00.000-08:00

Tim Lincecum-Buster Posey Gay Fan Fiction Chapter 35

2011-12-17T21:57:00.000-08:00

Electromagnetivity

2011-11-22T23:36:00.000-08:00

Big Bird

2011-11-20T23:32:00.001-08:00

Tim Lincecum-Buster Posey Gay Fan Fiction Chapter 34

2011-11-08T21:02:00.000-08:00

Sorry for the long wait. Your comments inspired the author to keep going, though.

The greatest hoax I know

2011-10-17T21:45:00.000-07:00

First world problems

2011-10-15T21:44:00.000-07:00

Shattered Dreams

2011-10-13T21:44:00.000-07:00

Peritubular Concentrations

2011-10-11T20:27:00.000-07:00

Methods for Improving Morale

2011-10-09T20:26:00.000-07:00

Beleaguered Sergeants

2011-10-07T20:24:00.000-07:00

Park Baby

2011-10-05T20:24:00.000-07:00

Most Profitable National Offshore Bank

2011-10-03T20:23:00.000-07:00

I sent this guy my life savings. I hope he gets back to me soon!

Pac Man

2011-10-01T20:22:00.000-07:00

Grille Wizard

2011-09-29T20:22:00.000-07:00

Hideo Nomo (1996)

2011-09-27T20:21:00.001-07:00

George Washington

2011-08-30T13:26:00.000-07:00

Fertile Octogenarian

2011-08-28T13:25:00.000-07:00

Tim Lincecum-Buster Posey Gay Fan Fiction Chapter 33

2011-08-26T13:15:00.001-07:00

Lucy, we haven't heard from you in a while. Are you OK?

We haven't been typing much recently because Burning Man is soon. The fanfic author has been making sure we have food to eat, and I have been building spring crap like this platform:

Octopus Anus

2011-08-11T18:15:00.000-07:00

Snorkax

2011-08-09T18:06:00.000-07:00

Hawaiian getaway

2011-08-07T18:05:00.000-07:00

Cancel the subscription, Mack Daddy

2011-08-05T18:04:00.000-07:00

Cheesemonger Webrings

2011-08-03T18:01:00.000-07:00

Pinniped Research Update

2011-08-01T17:59:00.001-07:00

To Do

2011-07-27T00:48:00.001-07:00

Looks like it's time to clean the Remington. The typebars on that thing strike so hard and do a real number on the ribbon and the legibility.

Tiger hair tonic

2011-07-13T21:30:00.000-07:00

Snail Farming

2011-07-11T21:27:00.000-07:00

Illuminated nonsense

Tim Lincecum-Buster Posey Gay Fan Fiction Chapter 32

2011-07-07T00:22:00.000-07:00

Guys, we just realized that this whole thing is called gaysball.

On a related note, I've come into possession of a photo BW sent to a friend of a friend of a friend, probably in an effort to get her to sleep with him. I feel sort of bad spreading it around the internet, though it is already on there if you know where to look. Discuss.

The essential numbers of things

2011-06-27T20:57:00.000-07:00

A philosophical treatise on the crisis currently facing American Football

2011-06-25T20:57:00.000-07:00

Tim Lincecum-Buster Posey Gay Fan Fiction Chapter 31

2011-06-23T20:47:00.001-07:00

My car got broken into across from that soccer field last night, FYI. As usual, there was nothing in it for them to steal, so the only person who benefitted from this was Jacky Fong at Power Auto Glass, who as I learned today is a friendly and reasonably priced installer of auto glass.

Teeth lasers

2011-06-19T17:56:00.000-07:00

On the cusp of their next adventure

2011-06-17T19:21:00.000-07:00

Sense or nonsense? It's getting harder to tell these days.

Tim Lincecum-Buster Posey Gay Fan Fiction Chapter 30

2011-06-15T17:53:00.000-07:00

Happy birthday Tim Lincecum.

Safe Way Corporation

2011-06-13T19:18:00.000-07:00

Pillsbury also does this. Can they just think for like half a second about whether this is a smart thing to do?

Eat a peach in five new flavors

2011-06-11T19:17:00.000-07:00

The Burgeoning Fashion of Thinking More Clearly

2011-06-09T19:16:00.000-07:00

Tim Lincecum-Buster Posey Gay Fan Fiction Chapter 29

2011-06-07T19:14:00.000-07:00

Dos de pollo y dos de chorizo para mi.

Aviation Radios

2011-06-05T19:11:00.000-07:00

Tim Lincecum-Buster Posey Gay Fan Fiction Chapter 28

2011-05-21T01:12:00.000-07:00

Macpaint.org

2011-05-16T19:37:00.001-07:00

Apologies for the lack of nonsense, the Belugastan politburo has been busy with a cutting edge technological project:

Macpaint.org: The Macpaint Gallery

If you are familiar with these new typewriter alternatives called "computers", you may be interested in this site.

Arnold Schwarzeneggar

2011-04-29T23:52:00.000-07:00

97% true story

North Cleveland Aspiring Professionals Yachting Club

2011-04-28T23:50:00.000-07:00

Tim Lincecum-Buster Posey Gay Fan Fiction Chapter 27

2011-04-27T23:48:00.001-07:00

Diversity of experience! One of my guiding principles.

Olivetti Studio 45

2011-04-20T19:53:00.001-07:00

Yesterday's post brought to you by this great thrift-store find:

According to a receipt in the case, the previous owner had it repaired and tuned up a few years ago, for twice what we paid for it at the thrift store. Can't have too many fully functional typewriters...right?

Firework taxes

2011-04-19T20:46:00.000-07:00

Request: will someone who is skilled at drawing cartoons please send me a picture of a Chinese dragon sitting in an accountant's office, asking him for free tax preparation?
joel //at// laserscorpion (dot) com

Tim Lincecum-Buster Posey Gay Fan Fiction Chapter 26

2011-04-18T20:39:00.001-07:00

The PWP3 is out of ink, so this chapter is brought to you by the Remington #3.

My life as a sex-addicted porn star

2011-04-15T20:31:00.000-07:00

This memoir stuff is pretty easy, I guess?

EXTREME PIZZA

2011-04-14T20:30:00.000-07:00

It's fine pizza, really, but hardly unusual. If they send a coupon, I'll go eat some and reevaluate.

Keebler Elf

2011-04-13T20:39:00.000-07:00

Black Sabbath

2011-04-12T20:28:00.000-07:00

I went to the doctor, see what he could give me.
He said "son, now son, you've gone too far,"
"Cause smoking and tripping is all that you do"
YEEEAAHHHH

Airplane Toilets

2011-04-11T20:23:00.001-07:00

Week of potential jokes, day 6

2011-04-07T00:51:00.000-07:00

Week of potential jokes, day 5

2011-04-06T00:51:00.000-07:00

Week of potential jokes, day 4

2011-04-05T00:50:00.000-07:00

Week of potential jokes, day 3

2011-04-04T00:50:00.000-07:00

Looks like it's time for a new ribbon for the KMM.

Week of potential jokes, day 2

2011-04-03T00:47:00.000-07:00

If any of these are rubbing you the right way, OR if you were alive in 1991, you may want to investigate REX NITRO

Week of potential jokes, day 1

2011-04-02T00:45:00.000-07:00

Get ready for more of these from SRF this week. Coming soon to a stand up show near you (if you live where we do)

Tim Lincecum-Buster Posey Gay Fan Fiction Chapter 26

2011-04-01T00:28:00.000-07:00

APRIL FOOL! It is actually chapter 25!

Czar of Syrup

2011-03-24T23:37:00.000-07:00

APRIL FOOL

2011-03-23T23:37:00.000-07:00

Please note: this post is actually 100% serious, and is not an April Fool's joke.

Dust and Gas

2011-03-22T23:36:00.000-07:00

Gold Dust

2011-03-21T23:35:00.000-07:00

Typer of the Year

2011-03-20T22:33:00.000-07:00

Passage of time

2011-03-19T23:32:00.000-07:00

Make sure to save a typewriter for when you get old, because you won't understand how to use all the new technology and your older computers will all break or become incompatible, but you'll probably still remember how to type.

Tim Lincecum-Buster Posey Gay Fan Fiction Chapter 24

2011-03-18T23:25:00.000-07:00

Grandmothers

2011-03-07T19:30:00.000-08:00

If she/they are still around, go talk to your grandmother(s)!

Train poetry

2011-03-05T19:34:00.000-08:00

Backwards nonsense on the other side of the page is even more nonsensical.

Iron Maiden

2011-03-04T19:28:00.000-08:00

Andrew Lloyd Weber

2011-03-04T00:09:00.000-08:00

A Treatise on Gay Baseball Fanfiction

2011-02-25T18:57:00.000-08:00

Tim Lincecum-Buster Posey Gay Fan Fiction "Chapter" 23

2011-02-24T19:52:00.000-08:00

Lockheed Martin Corporation

2011-02-23T21:52:00.000-08:00

I haven't decided whether to mail this one yet. On the one hand, I'm curious about the satellite dishes. On the other hand, it's Lockheed.

* * * * * * * * *

NOTE: if you are concerned about these issues as well, you may want to consider all of the relevant factors in play at this time. I am hereby announcing a bounty on information leading to the "?" connecting Humpty Dumpty and Pop Ups in that diagram.

The Fall of Duke Autumnipole

2011-02-18T19:14:00.001-08:00

Do you have a nice butt?

2011-02-15T18:54:00.001-08:00

The Coaster Enthusiast

2011-02-15T18:12:00.000-08:00

The Glee Club

2011-02-15T18:11:00.001-08:00

Tim Lincecum-Buster Posey Gay Fan Fiction Chapter 22

2011-02-14T23:14:00.001-08:00

Happy valentine's day?

This is what happens when you remove a document from the scanner while it is operating

2011-02-05T18:02:00.000-08:00

Fractal TS Elliot

2011-02-04T18:16:00.000-08:00

That dude only spoke in fractals, I'm pretty sure.

Midwifery in the age of dinosaurs

2011-02-03T18:20:00.000-08:00

There is a raging debate in our household about the usefulness of past participles. I am in favor of them.

Todros Abulafia

2011-02-02T18:00:00.000-08:00

This Abulafia character was a real gangsta rapper, let me tell you. TS Elliot was too.

Technology fixed

2011-02-01T18:06:00.000-08:00

And so we can present to you this geo-spatial TS Elliot typewriting adventure

More technical difficulties

2011-01-30T17:54:00.001-08:00

Having trouble with the scanner software, so nonsense may be light while we get that worked out. Some fan fiction may be available this week, though.

In the mean time, you can see this visual nonsense I made last week
Feel free to, you know, post that on your Twitter or Facebook or whatever. If you don't have epilepsy, I mean. If you do, you probably shouldn't look at it.

Soccer caves

2011-01-26T19:48:00.000-08:00

Actual true story: portions of today's nonsense were read aloud by a robotic computer voice to a bunch of BDSM dungeon people filming a live porn webcast. Just, you know, so you're informed of all the relevant metadata here.

Bareshouldered Lutesmanship

2011-01-25T19:09:00.000-08:00

Macaulay Culkin Sock 'em Boppers

2011-01-24T18:07:00.000-08:00

Tim Lincecum-Buster Posey Gay Fan Fiction Chapter 21

2011-01-23T19:00:00.000-08:00

Bingle bongle spingle spangle

2011-01-22T19:10:00.000-08:00

I am somewhat surprised to learn that I did not invent the phrase "bingle bongle", but luckily I can still apparently claim invention of the full "bingle bongle spingle spangle"

Tim Lincecum-Buster Posey Gay Fan Fiction Chapter 20

2011-01-21T18:50:00.000-08:00

Welcome new visitors

2011-01-13T11:54:00.001-08:00

If you are just joining us, may I suggest some of our nonsense greatest hits, in not much of an order:

-The Friar and the Hats
-The Baby Had Fallen
-Worms
-Gretel
-Read Between the Lines
-Ferrets
-Walnuts
-Httpoo
-Falconers Tavern
-Adjective Nouns
-Alex
-Contractual Appliance
-Lisa Frank and the Aesthetics of LSD-based Art
-Cubed Farts
-Tears of Joy
-Fingercocks McGee
-Bear Suits
-WHOMP WHOMP CAROOSH BOOSH BOOSH
-You Know Better
-Cetacean Espionage
-Cat Paint
-Prehisterotica
-The Lonely Skeleton
-Betty:
-Last Will and Testament
-A Typewriter Rose
-Jarritos on Minidisc
-Godzilla
-When in Oaxaca...
-Anthrax?
-Nagorno-Karabakh Bureau of Tourism
-Recipe

And, obviously, you'll want to read the Buster Posey/Tim Lincecum fanfiction. Start here: Chapter 1
We're currently on page 80, so you've got some catching up to do.

We've got plenty of other nonsense here too, I just grabbed a selection that immediately jumped out at me. I don't remember 3/4 of the things we've "written" so I probably missed "good" stuff. Read it all! Or, you know, don't. Whatever.

Caterwauling Caterpillars

2011-01-12T20:15:00.001-08:00

Tim Lincecum-Buster Posey gay fan fiction chapter 19

2011-01-12T00:37:00.000-08:00

Learn more about electricity and fire

Emerald Solution

2011-01-10T22:21:00.000-08:00

There is some Giants fan fiction around here somewhere, but it has been misplaced so I haven't scanned it yet. Working on it, don't worry.