Wednesday, September 30, 2009

My New Baby

Olivetti Lettera DL





I keep having all these Italian Babies, but Neither my wife or I are Italian. Should I begin to suspect she is cheating on me? Of course not! We pay for our children on ebay, like any good couple not willing to put up with stifling adoption paperwork should do.

WifeNapping Sliding Pay Scale




The last line should say Jarritos, but my typewriter got drunk.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Synesthesia

My friend Michael Lorenzo, has colour-graphemic synaesthesia:

He explained it to me with this chart.

a red
b blue
c green
d indigo/violet
e light blue
f dark red/brown
g fuchia
h indigo
I indigo (darker than h)
j dark red
k yellow or green
l brown
m brownish yellow
n pink
o black
p green
q dark green or dark purple
r green
s brown
t yellow
u midnight blue
v a deep blue. let's say cerulean
w yellow
x yellow
y black
z black
1 red
2 blue
3 green
4 yellow or green
5 dark red or brown
6 violet
7 yellow
8 black
9 deep purple
0 blue or black

I have synesthesia too, but different symptoms.

Monday, September 7, 2009

I used to be a Fur Trapper



FIll in the blank and write your own punchline for once, for the renaissance fair one.

Best answer wins a turkey leg of my choosing.