Away from Typewriter 'til Dec 1.

Is this funny?

(Click it to read)

Yeah, this one is hilarious.

Ya Mama & Curly Fries

I just flew in from Edmonton and boy are my 3 cocks tired...

Get it... I was using the birds for flight...

The Loney Skeleton Full Edition

This was originally intended to be a children's book...

Yeah, good luck with this one...

Typewriter Butt Nonsense Smut

The Lonely Skeleton

Dirty Dirty Limericks

Opium Sex in the Scorpion Tank

Strawberry Jarritos Anger

A letter from the man who sends you Valpak Coupons

Dinosaur-Volcano Stamp Kava Kava Fight

Scorpions and Typewriters and Melons, Oh My!

We keep live emperor scorpions as pets in our Typewriter Sweatshop.

They're less dangerous in Dot-Matrix Form.

Our Newest Child

Smith-Corona PWP 3.

Might be better off in foster care.

What I say, "I love it!"

What I mean, "Fucking clunky piece of garbage!"

Shakespeare's Monkeys

Another Dirty Limerick

The important questions

The quick brown...

Last Will and Testament

Common misinterpretations that led to massive phenomenae

I used to be a High School Chess Coach...

My New Baby

Olivetti Lettera DL





I keep having all these Italian Babies, but Neither my wife or I are Italian. Should I begin to suspect she is cheating on me? Of course not! We pay for our children on ebay, like any good couple not willing to put up with stifling adoption paperwork should do.

WifeNapping Sliding Pay Scale

The last line should say Jarritos, but my typewriter got drunk.

Even More Dirty Limericks

If you're playing the triangle, you're somebody's bitch.

My New Baby

Olivetti Underwood Studio 44

Jarritos on MiniDisc

When Quetzalcoatl comes back, have the Jarritos ready.

Need Big Font

Pickup Lines (Guaranteed to Work)

Commercial

Blackmail

I took a bunch more Quaaludes...

When In Oaxaca...

Godzilla

Joel, the Jarritos toasting typewriter migrant laborer typist, needs this mailed this to Jeff Goldblum and Japan ASAP.

More Dirty Limericks

Imitation in the Style of Baudelaire

Bad Jokes Exercising Good Taste

Remington Remette, Gotham Typewriter Noir

My new baby. So cute. I just gotta take it on BART. Find a wife.

A Typewriter Rose

Synesthesia

My friend Michael Lorenzo, has colour-graphemic synaesthesia:

He explained it to me with this chart.

a red
b blue
c green
d indigo/violet
e light blue
f dark red/brown
g fuchia
h indigo
I indigo (darker than h)
j dark red
k yellow or green
l brown
m brownish yellow
n pink
o black
p green
q dark green or dark purple
r green
s brown
t yellow
u midnight blue
v a deep blue. let's say cerulean
w yellow
x yellow
y black
z black
1 red
2 blue
3 green
4 yellow or green
5 dark red or brown
6 violet
7 yellow
8 black
9 deep purple
0 blue or black

I have synesthesia too, but different symptoms.

I-talians

Quetzalcoatl is so coming back... (How coming back is it?)

I used to be a Fur Trapper

FIll in the blank and write your own punchline for once, for the renaissance fair one.

Best answer wins a turkey leg of my choosing.

I took a bunch of quaaaludes...

Not Anthrax

My wife is so diseased (How diseased is she?)

My dick, is soo small... (How Small is it?)

Nagorno-Karabagh

For Your Eyes Only